,
Wednesday, June 08, 2011.
its almost 2months since i last update.well..my dear blog,you've missed a lot. yes,A LOT.
to date, i actually do keep/save every details of moments that happens.
to follow up from the last entry;
we met on the 10th April. and then onwards,i realised that we often contact.
all along,his ego is becoming much more obvious at times. for instance,on the phone with me and talking to his friends,the slip of the tounge refering me as 'perempuan aku' = 'ex aku'.
/18April-20April; seek my help as he plans on renting car due to him having a day stay chalet with his station mates, his mum wasn't well therefore i send and accompany. met him awhile before he's off to chalet.
/25April; it was monday and i had class. i didn't eat anything during lunch/breaktime and therefore asked him out for dinner and he agreed although he don't seem to be looking forward to it,but yeah..over to kfc near checkpoint area.
/26April; he studied for an upcoming test and so i didn't bother him much that day.
/28April; send his mum for medical checkup,and tag along to his crib thereafter. and i observed. at certain times, he seems suspicious. but i didn't dig in much.
/29April; he's just so into lappy, and couldn't even wait for the right time to own one. and because he just couldn't wait any longer,he owned hp netbook,and also,because i love him so much,and of my sincerity,i added some bucks to the cost. after we parted for the day,i confess to him again that no matter what,i truly sincerly love him so much,and it has never fade. i mean it,NEVER once fade since the first moments i love him.
/30-2May; he went off for a family holiday. and wanted to get himself a perfume in KL. he told me his desires, and again, of my sincerity and love for him, i transfer some amounts to him and he was more than just glad for it.
/3May; of his responsibility paying for his home internet bills.
/5May; send his mum for medical checkup,tag along to his crib,stay for sometime,before off my cousin n her bf in jb came fetching us,for hangouts.
/7May; we met.
/12May; send his mum for medical checkup,and off lunch with her.
/13May; had class,met kila at cityhall,and off to bugis meeting him n his buddy.
/14May; met him n family,his desire next on broadband usb and he owned it then on. off to westcoast till midnight with his family and aunt.
/20May; was my first few days of attachment,and therefore we met at Lot1 in the evening as he wanted to actually look for portable speakers. and again,of my sincerity,i passed him some bucks to add up the cost.
/29May; was after his duty,we met at wdlnds. off his desire for selling away his vivaz. then just browse on iPhone at singtel. my feelings are just so strong to know that he badly wants to own one. though i'm not adding any cost for this,but yet its to my address that matters since we actually had few lines on going with other operators. it took me about an hour to decide. telling me that he don't mind about not owning it now. but still,i could see his expression changed. so after much silence,i passed him my ic and yes,he was in real shocked + happy. so i said,sign up. and we did. for that, i don't really show much interest/expression as all in my mind,i kept thinking, i'm just freaking worried for him if he couldn't manage to pay for those lots of responsibilities when times to come.yes,he is such a responsible soul in paying all those.
and again,i confessed. this time,indirectly giving him hints. was saying 'now you will be more than a happy to have own a lappy and then now comes ip.how grateful you are. you'll be happy now i guess,unlike me. i just hope that you could think again n again,to put things back into consideration about us' he understands what i meant by that. and i shall say,somehow i was a little delighted as his response was pretty much positive. he told me that yes,he's thinking through on it and that he say,just wait for the time to come.
/3June; met him n his mum for early dinner at arab street before heading to his cousin's crib at wdlnds.
/6June; he went out with his buddy,till late midnight. and it has never happen before. sigh. i know i can't say much to avoid him from getting frustrated on my nagging. however,am grateful for as he still do text me throughout.
/as for today; he asked me out on either weekends or the coming week. oh well, i won't get excited as yet since i know that things can change.
..
so now...i know,after all mentioned above, some of you will just leave here and wont come back reading. i know some might just feel so irritated with me for why am i still being so nice to him?? why am i still treating him that way?? why can't i just bother my own desires more than his??
as i have clearly mentioned, my feelings for him is in fact much more stronger now. i would really really hope and wish for us to be back like our normal days. really i missed every moments. recalling all could make me turned to tears. if only he could make the right time comes now, only the Almighty will know how happy yours sincerely will be.
dearest solihin, i miss us; i <3 u. so much and a lot.