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Thursday, January 27, 2011.
errghh!! i'm not kidding,but i guess its best that i'm warded to IMH. stress,too stress,very stress ; in high stage of stress and depression. i need a psychiatrist.well,thats what my fb status lately..honestly,i'm not being myself..even my mum sees me behaving differently..i'm so depress about everything that's happening in life..i'm tired of everything..i had enough..da terlalu banyak kepahitan & seksa i've been through..i want to go far away from here..i'm becoming weaker day by day..without fail and its always the tears that has keep me accompany..hati da terlalu sakit nak pendam,tahan & sabar dgn bende same yg selalu happen..maybe its fate; god makes my life this way,and not having happiness like others..to dearest,up to u if u were to say i'm behaving like a kid..my personality has totally change..i'm not as strong as before..sometimes i don't feel like living anymore..whats the use if life is full of sufferings..too long,so long i've been patient with all this..all my dreams,wish and hopes has gone..i see myself hanging at no where without future..
for nearly 2 weeks,i've been staying at home..no matter how i tried avoiding myself to think about it,yet its still the same..
and for that nearly 2 weeks also,we've not been meeting..
i thought,in my condition this way,he will be by my side to consult..but no..he didnt..the only thing i had from him was text messages of concern..
and for that 2 weeks also,not a single call from him..
tell me about it..u with yr no initiative..i'm really disappointed in u..
its ok if u think thats what u prefer all this while;not to meet for a period of time.thats what u always wanted right?ok go ahead with yr other priorities..just go..leave me hanging this way..
i dare to swear,now onwards,i wont keep asking and pestering u about meetings/outings..
(dear blog,pardon me for behaving this way.i know u surely hate me being this way.people may see me in all smiles,but deep inside,i'm all alone keeping all these.)