i just dont understand bapak.
at ard 12+pm just now,he get himself changed[wif baju kurong&seluar] my sis was like 'nk gi mane?'
i was at the balcony,n i know,he wanna go smbyg zohor at msjd.
so i just continue wif my own stuffs.
hafiz n hanif was watching tv.n bapak was like 'sape nk ikot'
den both of my brothers diamkn diri.
coz wat he tot was like,after saying like dat,my bro n sis will go like 'nak2!'
like excited gitu lar kn.
bt den,all of us know he wanna go msjd.n so,my two bro just buat bodo as dey dun wanna follow.
den bapak was like membebel sendiri n say 'da eh,tknk ikot suda.besok2 klau korg ajak buka luar/gi geylang/etc,bapak taknk klua ehh'
itu part je aku darah sudah upz.
coz bapak was really ajak-ing my both brothers.
IF he were to ajak me,confirm aku sudah ikot.
but he's stressing on my two bro.
so,all of the girls in the house just diam.
plus,sumore,after saying the sentence in red above,
bapak was like 'klau nk klua,pegi sendiri.jgn ajak bapak klua ehh!'
wah,itu jam i say dis to myself, 'ok uh,fine.datz wat he says.so,days to come,if i wanna go out,i will go sendiri uh.but if i wanna go out,n he dint allow..datz it.'

see larr! sape tk binget.
cousins shud know how my dad's perangai is like.

& so,i test him just now.

i wanna go out wif hanif.

to bazar at wdnlnds.and when we're about to salam bapak,he was like 'tgk uh,nk klua.pandai2 je.'

so i just salam,n walk off.

grrr!! see larr! didnt he just say,klau nk klua,klua sendiri?

datz wat i dont understand larr.

bapak ehh..skejap ckp laen,jap lagi tuka laen.

....

i can still remember a situation.
when we just shifted frm fajar to where we are now;bangkit.
n when we're planning which renovation contrator to work wif,my bro n i was like,giving him sum suggestions.
n all my dad wanted was Classic Ideas.
duhhh!! ok uh,we're fine wif dat.
n so,renovation starts.
ohh btw,he wants Classic Ideas coz his fren recommended to him.
ok den,gitu gini,after everything had ended,n were so called happy wif the renovation,suddenly,a problem occured.
n dat makes all of us unhappy.
sumkind like sumthing dint turn out right.
n when my dad called the company,it says dat the person who took charge of our renovation was no longer working there.
den bapak was kinda angry larr knn..
n me?
yeah,i was saying this to myself 'ahh..tu larr..dgr lagi ckp kwn.yes,he can.but,shud think 1st larr..lagipn not all of us agreed to his choice of classic ideas.'
klau tak ikotkn,nnt mengamok.
da ikotkn,nk mengamok jgk.
ape niii??!!

haish..seriously.
i'm nt dat close to my dad.
cmne nk close,org baru ckp siket,
the way he answer will turn out like marah2.

cousins,u people shud know.
haish..
tk phm tk phm.

mama will at times be like bapak jgk.but not everytime.
so now,all i can do is to be myself.
yes,if u ppl wanna know,i can be super independent at hm.
nvm lar,dey dint even care abt me pon.

i feel dat mama understand us more.
i had a great chat wif her few days ago n dis is wat she told me;
'mothers's mouth is at mouth,father's mouth is at their stomach'
get it?
yeah..coz mums,will nag n nag non stop while dads will just keep quiet.
see?!
isnt dat the fact now?
haish..

sorry,coz this is wat i feel all this while.
felt kinda relief after letting out.

so u people who felt the same thing,
my advice is:
just bersabar.see how long they,the fathers can go on with their perangai like dat.
their ego is one kind.
their mengamok tk tentu psl is another kind.
their sindiran which at times we as their kids cant take it,is another another kind.
& sumtimes,we as kids tend to be rude/menjawab coz we’re menegakkan kebenaran.

pls lar,be concern.be understandable.
...
bapak,kakak just dont understand u k!

*we're in the same boat